The Haunted Woods

Lauren, Ashley and I took 5 kids to the haunted woods in Eagle on Friday.

- My daughters don't like to walk around in the dark woods and have men in masks yell at them.
- This doesn't seem to bother Lauren's sons at all as Parker just said "hi I am Parker", while Taylor would ask where did the scary animals go when they were gone.

- Ashley's daughter seemed to be fine as long as she was holding an adults hand.

- Musical Children is when kids don't want to be in the front too long and decide to trade handlers after getting scared to get towards the back.

- Ashley got the crap scared out of her when my daughters flipped out and I fell behind. One of the "scary men" got behind her, I told her I was right behind her. She said OK then the dude scared the crap out of her. A couple F bombs are dropped by Ashley.

-After about 3/4 of a mile all the kids wanted to leave (except Parker) so we started waving the white flag walking through the woods repeating the phrase "We are little kids, we are scared, we want to go home." The scary men in masks started hi-fiving the kids and letting them know it was OK. I believe this saved us from dealing with some nightmares.

- Minivans are great for transporting kids not great for parking. We have a minivan now and believe me great for taking kids not so easy for me to park. As I held up a lot of people with my amazing driving skills, going forward, backward, forward, backward turn the wheel to the left, the right to the left. GREAT PARKING SKILLS.

-Whole thing was pretty inexpensive the line was about 30 minutes which was tough to entertain the kids for that long. Lots of holding the younger kids and carrying them. Stupid teenagers screaming in front of us. Surprised Ashley or Lauren didn't push a couple teenage
girls into the woods and whoop their ass.

-Got free chocolate milk at the end of the thing. HELL YES I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK. Especially FREE.

-Left the chocolate milk in the van when we got home because all the kids fell asleep and we had to carry them in. Forgot about the free chocolate milk (yes free) and so I didn't get any. Saddest point of my life

-A thought about the fires in So. California and I would be willing to bet that it was started by somebody who was about to have their house foreclosed on. Too bad this couldn't have happened in Tomball Texas last year.

-The movie Planet Terror sucks balls. Just didn't care or laugh or anything. Just thought it was kind of gross and horrible. I like most zombie movies but this goes at the bottom. Even the machine gun leg sucked ass.